Self Love in April
Mmmmm…. Self love. This topic has been a very sensual awakening for me. A true returning to my senses. Slowing down enough to feel and be in my feeling state. Feeling safe to feel. With a greater understanding of my traumatic experiences, I realise I have a habit of going out of body when I feel fear or overwhelm and I take myself away to a fantasy or daydream. Alternatively I am rescued by my rational mind who wears a superwoman cape and scoops me up to control, demand and clamp down on any rising unknowns. Superwoman knows best. Although these survival techniques can work in the moment to shift fear, these reactions limit my experience and depth of feeling. Self-love is patient, compassionate and led by heart, always.
One of the ways I opened the door of self-love is by going to see a sexologist. This amazing woman gave me a simple practice to do with my hands. One hand is the giver and the other is the receiver. The exercise was for one hand to practice touching the other and this hand could tell the other hand what it needed and wanted; stronger, softer, slower and then swap over for the other hand. This was a practice I did for 5 minutes daily for about one month during the pregnancy of Xian. I began to reprogram my mind to believe that I can fulfil my needs and it is okay to be clear and direct about what I want and don’t want. This particular mindfulness exercise helped me to tune in to my in body’s sensitivities and allowed me to hold myself unconditionally in a feeling state. I wrote a poem called Awakened Queen to express the uniting of the masculine (action) and feminine (feeling) within myself. This was also an exercise I could do at any time and by making time for it with an intention of self love, I strengthened the neural pathways around my need for love and felt empowered that I could fill this bucket myself.
Through this practice I developed the ability to be present through the birth of my third son at a much greater conscious capacity than before as I had practised the flow of feeling states and was able to release the mental construct of fixed pain and stay in body.
Smell is very powerful for me and a smell can change my feeling state instantly. After a yoni mapping session with an awesome yoni therapist, I learnt about Shemana Elixirs, their heart activation mist instantly connects me to my body and I use the heart activation intimacy oils for self love massages often. In the morning I use this to massage my breasts and heart area. After birth I used it a lot around my tummy. I also use it for self pleasure which I believe is a wonderful doorway to self connection and can improve partner relationships immensely. The deeper relationship I have with myself, the deeper the relationship I have with my partner.
Self love is a way of externally acknowledging ones need for love and practising this. When we acknowledge this shift our brains reprogram and develop supportive networks of thoughts, feelings and rhythms. I drink Cacao often on a Sunday, sometimes alone and sometimes with my husband. I sit and drink the warm Cacao setting an intention of love, warmth and connection. As I pause to drink this delicious plant medicine I am actively strengthening my neural pathways that reaffirm “there is always time for self love”, “I am loved”, “I am divine”, “My world is delicious”, “My world warmly embraces me” and so much more in the subtly of the subconscious.
Let me know how you practice self-love in the comments below, I would love to hear and sharing this secret helps other women feel empowered to love themselves. What is your pick this month? buy yourself some flowers, take a long warm bath, follow an aryuvedic morning ritual, have a massage, an orgasm?… whatever it is that fills your love bucket, do it, and most importantly make time to do this often. Women who glow from within practice self love often and it feels amazing! Visit here for some beautiful products to assist with self love rituals.
With deep love and connection for another month,
Mama Rose
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